


The Whole Truth

by Myriamele_Stratton



Series: Always Love [4]
Category: EXO (Band), EXO - Xiumin
Genre: A little bit of explicit language/sex, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Incest, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29588151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myriamele_Stratton/pseuds/Myriamele_Stratton
Summary: Where Minseok finds out about Mirielle's past
Relationships: Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Always Love [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151090





	1. She knew?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction and it is my own, please don't steal it. PLEASE NOTE: This work mentions incest, if this triggers you, please don't read it. (As a survivor, I know that some things can bring back very painful memories)

“W-what?” Mirielle asked; her eyes widened in shock as she looked at her doctor. 

“I’m so sorry, Mirielle... you are unable to get pregnant...” The doctor reached for the box of tissues sitting on her desk and pushed it over toward where Miri sat. 

“B-but... but how did we not know this sooner? Like... before I got married?” Miri grabbed a couple of the tissues and dabbed at her eyes as tears began to course slowly down her cheeks. “Or... or over the past couple of years, when we kept trying, but nothing was happening? How did this remain hidden for so long??” It had been two and a half years since the last major problem in their relationship, and everything had been going perfectly. Now, she was visibly forcing herself not to panic, and she gripped the arms of the chair tightly while wishing Minseok had been able to accompany her to this appointment. 

Doctor Lee sighed and rested her forearms on her desk as she leaned forward slightly. “It was always a possibility, because of your... the ordeal you went through when you were younger... but for many years, there was nothing unusual during your examinations or in any of the blood tests. And, you took birth control, so we weren’t specifically looking to see if you could have children. When you went off the pill two years ago, and you didn’t get pregnant, I didn’t think it was all that unusual, as sometimes women do take a while – it could have been your genetic makeup or something that runs in your family... I’ve had patients who try for a few years, then decide to stop trying, and suddenly get pregnant... there are anecdotes about women and pregnancy for pretty much every situation...” The doctor turned her head and looked out her window, her voice soft and sad as she continued. “To be quite honest, Miri... I never expected this result. I thought your body was just taking its time, or perhaps Minseok’s sperm was a little slower than usual... there were many reasons why I wasn’t alarmed.” 

Doctor Lee looked back at Miri. “You don’t have overly heavy periods, terribly painful cramps, spotting between periods, or pain during sex, which are some of the most common symptoms that would have caused us to perform an ultrasound and if that revealed nothing, a sonogram... which is when we would have discovered what the problem is. If the person who had that done to you were alive today, I would do everything in my power to see them convicted and never see the light of day outside a prison cell again. I cannot understand why any doctor agreed to that type of surgery and then didn’t record it correctly in your permanent records; other than that, it was because you were a minor at the time, and your family was influential enough to keep it a secret. Again, I am so sorry... unfortunately, tubal ligation surgery is permanent...” 

“But... but how... I mean, I... I remember they told me I had a hernia when I was in junior high, and that was why I needed surgery, but... there aren’t any scars... how could they have done that without leaving any trace?” Miri looked down at her stomach and rested her hand over it as waves of horror washed over her while the full implications of what Doctor Lee told her sank in. 

“I thought it was odd when I saw you’d mentioned having hernia surgery on your questionnaire, but there was no scar. In some cases, a doctor can repair a hernia laparoscopically, but that is rare... still, since it is a possible procedure, I didn’t question it. I suspect they did your surgery vaginally... it’s also not a common practice, but it isn’t unknown. Also, having a tubal ligation doesn’t affect your hormone output, so you still had normal periods. It appeared that you would be able to get pregnant, which is also why you were prescribed birth control pills. There was no reason to question whether you were fertile or not, until now...” 

Mirielle sat and stared at the woman for a long time, and the woman remained silent, waiting for whatever Miri would say. “So... so, there is no way for me to have a child?” 

Doctor Lee smiled gently. “There are ways, Miri... we could try tubal ligation reversal surgery or IVF if you wanted to have the child yourself. The reversal surgery is incredibly complicated and isn’t guaranteed, and since you had it done at such a young age, I don’t know what the chances are that it would work for you, but it is an option. IVF is difficult and often not effective, but that could be a possibility. There is also adoption, or having someone be your surrogate. There are two ways to have a surrogate birth your child; either by IVF using one of your eggs and Minseok’s sperm to create an embryo or by impregnating the surrogate with Minseok’s sperm. However, the emotional and legal ramifications of the second surrogate option can be problematic. Each of the options has pros and cons, and once you have had the chance to discuss it with Minseok, I will be happy to meet with the two of you and go into more depth about them.” 

Mirielle sighed and dabbed her eyes again, then started to stand up. “Okay... thank you, Doctor Lee... I... I’ll be in touch...” 

Doctor Lee also stood and came around her desk to offer Miri a hug. “You’re welcome, my dear... if you need to talk about any of this at any time, please call me, you have my personal number. And again, I am so terribly sorry that we didn’t discover this sooner... there were just so many factors that kept it hidden...” 

Mirielle offered the other woman a wan smile. “It’s all right, Doctor Lee, I don’t blame you... and knowing about it now explains a whole lot about what happened when I was growing up... I’ll call you once I’ve talked to Minseok, and we’re ready to come to see you.” 

The two women hugged again, then Miri left the office and went home. 

When she walked in, she heard the sound of Minseok’s fingers tapping on the keyboard of his laptop in his home office, and instead of calling out to announce her arrival, she quietly removed her outerwear, slipped into her new pair of kitten slippers that he’d gotten her for her birthday earlier in the year, then slowly walked toward the room he was in, as though she was heading for her execution. Tears immediately began to slip down her cheeks, and she dashed them away with the backs of her hands before stopping beside the doorway so he couldn’t see her yet. She took a deep breath, tried on a fake smile, then stepped through the door and walked toward his desk. 

“Hi, Seokie-ah...” Miri said softly, her voice tightening as she fought back the ache in her heart. 

“Miri-ah!” Minseok exclaimed, then pushed his chair back, gestured for her to come closer, and when she did, he pulled her into his lap. “I’m sorry I couldn’t go to your appointment with you. Did Doctor Lee have any answers about why you aren’t getting pregnant? It’s me, isn’t it? My sperm is just too slow...” He grinned at her and lightly rubbed her belly, then stopped smiling when she gently pulled his hand away. 

“She... she did, but... but it’s not you... it’s me...” Mirielle replied, her head lowered to keep from having to gaze into his dark eyes. 

“Oh, honey... it’s all right, sweetheart, we’ll take our time, and eventually, it will happen, right?” Minseok tried to tilt her chin up with his fingertips, but she turned her head away, causing him to frown slightly. “Miri-ah? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He was holding her carefully on his legs, and he tried to pull her closer, but she pushed out of his embrace and stood up, then walked a few steps away before turning around and looking directly at him. 

“I... I can’t have children, Minseok... my... my father... he had a doctor... perform a tubal ligation on me when I was in junior high...” Miri watched his face as the words registered, and Minseok blinked. 

“Tubal ligation? I don’t know what that is...” Minseok watched Miri’s face, then stood up and closed the distance between them when she started to cry. He quickly picked her up and carried her to the couch, then sat with her in his lap, holding her tightly as she fell apart. Finally, when she was calmer, he brushed his fingertips over her cheek and whispered, “Come, sweetheart, let’s go take a bath and relax, then you can explain, all right?” 

Mirielle nodded, then clung to Minseok’s neck as he picked her up and carried her to their room, where he gently helped her out of her clothing as though she were a child, cooing to her and caressing her soft skin. However, none of his tender ministrations would erase the terrible anguish present on her beautiful face. Once he’d undressed her, he’d removed his clothing, then took her hand and led her into the bathroom, where he’d run a warm bath with a few sprays of their favorite scents mingled together. He’d seen her spray one of his work shirts that he’d worn one day with one of her favorite perfumes on an evening when he’d needed to finish some work in his home office, and when he asked her about what she was doing; she’d admitted that the combination of their two colognes together made her feel better when he couldn't be with her in person. While the tub was filling, he’d gathered her tawny hair in his hands and pulled it into a messy bun, then bound it with a hair tie before dropping a soft kiss on the back of her neck. 

As sad as Miri was, having Minseok make those tiny yet significant gestures helped quiet her fears, and as they soaked in the tub, she’d explained what the procedure she’d had done to her was, and what it meant, and the options that Doctor Lee had offered. She knew it was a lot to process for him, as she was still having trouble understanding it, but she was the one who’d lived the nightmare, so at least she had some inkling of what her father had been capable of. But although Minseok had learned some of what had happened to her when she was growing up, she’d shielded him from the actual details, so he still hadn’t known precisely who the culprit was or what had occurred. 

When the water began to cool, he helped her out of the tub, dried her off, walked her back to their bedroom and into the closet, then dressed her in a pair of leggings and one of his hoodies. He wore sweat pants and a sweatshirt, both of them put on their slippers, then went down to the kitchen to decide what to do for dinner. 

Minseok had been mostly silent during the whole time, only asking a question for clarification here and there, but for the most part, he allowed Miri to speak her feelings and thoughts, and now, there was silence as they prepared their meal. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but she understood that the news she’d delivered was life-changing, and she also realized that he would begin asking her about what her father had done to her for all those years when she’d been young. She dreaded that conversation more than she’d feared admitting she was infertile, but when Minseok was ready to ask, she would answer truthfully and finally disclose everything. 

Because she was apprehensive about the impending discussion, she was grateful when Minseok remained near her while they were cooking. He occasionally slid his arm around her to hug her against him warmly while nuzzling soft kisses to her temple and forehead. She melted into those touches, and when the food was ready, they sat at the kitchen counter with their stools as close together as they could get and ate the delicious meal of gul tteokguk and gungjung tteokbokki. As it was late October now, the warm food was welcome in their stomachs. When they finished, they cleaned the kitchen, then went to the living room and sat on the couch together, sitting in the lotus position and facing each other. 

“Is there... is there anything I can’t ask you about... Miri-ah?” Minseok said softly as he watched his wife’s beautiful features, his dark gaze holding her amber one. “I know that there are things you didn’t tell me before because you said you weren’t ready... I don’t want to hurt you by asking something I shouldn’t...” 

Miri reached out and took his hands, then held them and scooted closer to him on the couch, so her legs were resting over his, and their feet were touching. She shook her head and replied. “No, there is nothing I wish to keep hidden any longer. I promise I will tell you everything.” 

“All right... I... I think my biggest question is... why would your father have had that done to you, without telling you what was happening? And... how could your mother have let it happen?” Minseok squeezed her hands gently and offered her a small smile, aware that the words they were now sharing would cut Miri deeply. 

Miri sighed and looked down at their laps to watch as she brushed her thumb tips over the back of his hands. “My father... he... he considered himself the owner of everyone in his household... his wife, me, his staff... and none of us questioned it. If any of the staff did, they disappeared. I never knew what happened to them, but I have my suspicions. As for me, I was a child, so although I didn’t give my specific consent, it didn’t matter, as he was my legal guardian until I came of age. He... he treated us like chattel... I’m not entirely sure how I managed to survive and feel love and compassion, considering I didn’t receive any for years. Still, I credit my grandmother – my mother’s mother – because she took me in when my parents were killed during my sophomore year of high school.” 

Minseok blinked, a surprised expression crossing his handsome face, as he hadn’t known how Miri’s parents were no longer alive. “They’re... dead?” 

Miri nodded her head. “Yes... and I never grieved for them; I never felt they deserved it. My... my father used me... used me... as a substitute for my mother... whenever she would claim not to be able to have sex...” She stopped speaking and let that bombshell sink into Minseok’s mind. 

The two of them sat silently for a long few minutes until finally, Minseok gasped, “She... she knew? What he was doing?” 

Miri gulped and nodded, her head still lowered, although now her eyes were unfocused. She wanted to close them entirely so she couldn’t accidentally see what she thought would be disgust on Minseok’s face, but she was too afraid to see the memories that would flash through her thoughts. “She did... she... she was the reason he started, to begin with... she... I remember, she... they were drinking... I was... I had just started sixth grade, had started puberty, and was beginning to develop breasts and grow hair in other places than my head... and... she decided she didn’t feel like having him fuck her, so... she hinted I was ready...” 

Minseok sat there with a horrified expression on his face, looking at the top of his wife’s head, unable to fathom how something so terrible had happened to her. Unable to understand how the person who had birthed her could throw her away like that. “My god... Miri...” 

Mirielle shook her head and gasped, “Please, Seokie-ah... let me... let me just say everything... and then you can ask anything you want. I’m... I’m afraid that if I don’t get it out all at once, I’ll... I won’t be able to speak it ever again...” 

“Honey, you... you don’t have to tell me anything else if you don’t want to...” Minseok gently removed one hand from hers and cupped her face tenderly, then opened his arms and waited as she slowly moved to sit in the bowl of his lap. He moved around so he could lean into the corner of the sofa, then wrapped his arms around Miri and held her, trying to offer her as much comfort as he could while knowing it would be wholly inadequate. 

“I know, Seokie-ah, but... but I’ve been carrying these secrets for too long, and I need to tell you... there are... there are some things I should have told you before, and you’ll understand what I mean once I do...” Miri rested her forehead against his neck, then murmured, “Once my mother had convinced him to start using my body, he didn’t have to be drunk for it to happen... and one day, I was having trouble keeping food down... and the more I think about it now, the more I think that perhaps I was pregnant. And that was when... when he claimed I had a hernia and needed an operation to fix it. So... I went to the hospital, stayed for a few days, and came home. They told me I had to take it easy for a few weeks, and I was so thankful since that meant he couldn’t touch me... but as soon as those weeks were done, he... he started again.” 

Minseok was unable to speak, the agony of what Miri had gone through nearly killing him when he thought about how she must have felt. 

“Since I had normal periods, there was never any reason for me to suspect anything had been done other than what I’d been told... and the... it continued until they died. I cried when I found out they were gone, but it wasn’t because I was sad; it was because I was happy that I would finally be free of his disgusting clutches.” The hatred in Miri’s voice sent a shiver down Minseok’s spine, and he hugged her. 

“Can you tell me how they died?” Minseok asked, knowing he’d promised not to say anything but unable to keep from voicing that question.


	2. Family ties

Miri nodded. “They were murdered. They... my...” She sighed, then whispered, “My paternal family is well known in Tokyo... they are... they are one of the most feared crime syndicates there... my father had been sent to Seoul to try to gain a foothold in this country, but he was too greedy... and it got he and my mother killed... luckily, I was away on a school trip, and the faction that killed them had infiltrated our organization here, and had decided I was no threat. Which was true... I didn’t know any of what was going on until afterward, and then only because I received a letter from my paternal grandfather. I’ve never met any of my father’s family in person.” 

Minseok was utterly flabbergasted by the words dropping from Mirielle’s lips at this point, but he didn’t push her out of his lap. “Do you... do you have contact with them, now...?” 

Miri shook her head. “No... I imagine they know where I am and what I’m doing, but other than the trust fund that was established for me, I’ve had nothing to do with them. They never interfered when my grandmother took me in, although I think they must have sent her money since she didn’t work, but we never wanted for anything.” Miri waited quietly to let Minseok contemplate what she’d said, dreading what his next question would be. 

“There’s a... a trust fund? Do you... do you have access to it?” Minseok was having trouble processing everything and was mostly letting his mouth speak whatever it wanted while not paying much attention. 

There was a long pause, and Miri finally whispered, “Yes.” 

Minseok gently pushed Miri out of his lap and onto the couch, then stood up and began pacing the living room; his hand lifted to hold his head as though he had a migraine and was trying to keep his brain from exploding. “How... how much?” 

Mirielle knew what he was asking, and she replied, “Over three hundred million... in US dollars... and that’s a fraction of what I’ll inherit when my grandfather dies...” She lifted her gaze and watched as Minseok came to a halt, then looked toward her, an incredulous expression on his gorgeous face. 

“So... so you’re saying... you’re the heiress of a huge crime empire... in Japan?” He stared at her as though he’d never seen her before. 

Miri nodded as tears began to fill her eyes. “Y-Yes...” 

“And... and you never told me... you never thought that was something I should know??” 

“Seokie-ah, I... I didn’t want it to change how you felt about me, because it’s not part of my life... not really... I mean, yes, it’s my family, but my parents are dead, I was never involved in the business, and I have no contact with the people in Japan at all... I haven’t heard from any of them since my grandfather sent me that letter... I don’t even know who any of my other relatives are if I have any...” Miri was beginning to worry as she saw the face of the man she loved start to transform into an expression of horror. 

“Does... does anyone else know? Like Lisa or Siyeon? Or anyone??” Siyeon was Chinhwa’s sister and was the person who had introduced Minseok and Mirielle. 

Mirielle shook her head. “No, the only other person who knew anything was my grandmother, and she never told anyone else.” 

Minseok dropped into one of the overstuffed chairs, then held his hand up to stop Miri as she began to move to come to him. “No... no, you need to... you need to stay there... I... I have to think...” 

Miri gulped and nodded her head, then waited while he weighed what she’d told him. 

“So... just so I make sure I understand this... you... you were used as a concubine by your father from when you were in sixth grade until you were a sophomore in high school... he possibly impregnated you and consequently had surgery performed on you so you couldn’t ever get pregnant again. That man, your father, was one of the heads of a major crime family in Japan, and he and your mother were murdered because of their connections to that family. You are the recipient of an immense trust fund that you’ve had since your parents were killed, and you are the heiress to a vast fortune once your grandfather dies, but you don’t know if you’ll be expected to take over the syndicate because you’ve had no contact with the family since your parents died. Is that about it?” Minseok lifted his dark gaze and captured Miri’s amber, and she gulped, then nodded. 

“Have you been receiving payments from the trust fund?” He asked as he watched her. 

Miri licked her lips, then whispered, “Yes...” 

“How much...?” 

“Not that much...” She replied. 

“How much is not that much...” 

“Six... six hundred thousand a year... in US dollars...” Miri whispered. 

Minseok blinked as another incredulous expression crossed his face. “How have you kept that hidden from me?? What about our taxes???” 

“I... I have an accountant who handles it, and I file as an individual rather than a married person...” 

Minseok sat forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees, then ran his hands through his hair, a harrowed frown creasing his forehead. “You do realize that what you’re telling me compromises the promise I’ve made to my clients, don’t you?” He lifted his head and glared at her. 

“What? No! No, it doesn’t! It doesn’t have anything to do with your business or your clients!!” Miri exclaimed in shock. 

Minseok stood up and started to pace again, and Miri watched, her head moving left and right as she followed him with her eyes. “Yes, it does, Mirielle... you’re my wife... whether you told me about any of this or not, the fact that you’re involved with a crime family breaks my basic agreement with my clients, which is that none of my associates, either personal or professional, will have anything to do with illegal activities... and unfortunately, being the member of a crime family puts you squarely in the ‘involved in illegal activities’ camp, whether you have any contact with them or not. Where do you think the money for your trust fund came from, huh? Where do you think the money from your inheritance will come from? It certainly won’t be from honest investments!!” 

Miri sat on the couch with her mouth dropped open, not having foreseen the turn this conversation would take and suddenly wishing she could take all of it back and have it be a secret again. “But, Seokie-ah...” 

“Don’t.” Minseok said, holding his hand up to halt her words. “Don’t call me that. I can’t stand the sound of it from your mouth. I can’t believe you knew about your background this whole time, and you knew about my business and how important it is to me, and you never told me the truth... how could you even think it would be okay to hide it from me?” He stared at her as though she was a stranger, then said, “You’re right, you know... if I had known this about you from the start, I wouldn’t... I wouldn’t have been able to start my company because of the implications... I don’t know... I don’t know if that means I wouldn’t have wanted to be with you... but you should have told me... my god... now, I...” 

Miri started to rise from the couch to come toward him, but he backed up a step. 

“No, stay away from me... I need... I need time to think about all of this... to decide what I need to do... and you need to... need to just stay away... you don’t have to leave the house, just... just don’t talk to me... go sleep in one of the other bedrooms... take your things in there, and... and make yourself as scarce as possible... I... I don’t know how long it will take me to come to a decision, but until I do... I don’t want to see you...” Minseok hadn’t looked at Miri while he said all of that, and as soon as he was done speaking, he turned and strode out of the room. 

Miri watched him go, then heard the door of his home office slam as tears began to stream down her face. She sat in the living room for a long time, crying silently, unable to understand how she’d let this happen, how she’d not told him the truth before now, but it was too late to fix it. She knew if she’d been honest at the beginning and he’d broken up with her, it would have hurt, but it would have been nothing compared to if he turned her away now. And to learn that she was unable to have children on top of that... that was bad enough, but now... now she was lost. She didn’t know if she should talk to Lisa, but she didn’t want to confide in her friend, as that would put Chinhwa in the same position as Minseok, and she didn’t want to make the situation worse. 

Finally, she got up and went to the bedroom she’d shared with Minseok and methodically removed all of her belongings, taking them to one of the spare bedrooms on the other side of the upstairs wing so that they could avoid each other as much as possible. Once she’d made sure everything that would remind him of her was gone from his room, she went to hers, locked the door, then sat in one of the chairs in front of the window that looked out over the backyard and the forest their house stood in front of. 

She contemplated suicide or running away, but this time, she was fully aware that there was no way Minseok would save her or chase her, and as much as she hated to admit it, that was the main reason she’d done those things before because she knew he would get to her in time. Now... he really didn’t care. She felt horrible for breaking his trust like that, but... but she’d loved him so much, and she was so broken when she first met him that she hadn’t let herself accept that she should have told him the whole truth. Granted, she didn’t know then that she couldn’t get pregnant, but she could at least have told him about her family and given him the choice. 

In the meantime, Minseok was sitting at the desk in his home office, staring at his laptop screen. He’d contemplated contacting Chinhwa to tell him what had happened, but he knew he shouldn’t - at least until he’d wrapped his head around all of the complications that could arise from his relationship with Mirielle. Even if he divorced her now, there would always be the suspicion that he’d known about her family ties from when they’d first met. He thought about calling Yunho and asking him to run a background check on Miri, except if they found anything that tied her to her family, then Yunho would be compromised. As all of the things Miri had told him dinned in his head like the tolling of a death knell, he quietly broke down. He spent the night in his office, sleeping on the uncomfortable couch, and the next morning when he woke up to get ready for work, he went to his bedroom, grateful to find she had done as he’d asked and made herself disappear. 

He hoped she didn’t commit suicide, as he didn’t want that on his conscience, but his feelings were so numb at this point, he couldn’t work up any fear for her about it. He didn’t feel anything, even sadness over the possible loss of the love of his life. He was empty and cold like a winter landscape, and he wasn’t sure when, or if, that would ever change. For now, and for the foreseeable future, he knew he wouldn’t be able to look at Miri without... hating her... for what felt like a betrayal of his trust. 

He performed his morning routine, then went to the kitchen, his mind on auto-pilot and skimming over the fact that he was doing as he always did. However, when he arrived in the room, he noticed Miri was nowhere, but he did see a note on the counter. He frowned and walked over, picked it up, somewhat surprised to see it was typed rather than hand-written, and it said, _“Breakfast is in the fridge; heat it up for forty-five seconds. The bento is your lunch. Dinner will be in the fridge when you come home; there will be instructions for heating it, depending on what it is. Stay healthy.”_ No salutation or signature was written, but it was obvious who it was for and who it was from. He sighed softly, calming himself down as he felt his anger rise, then as he turned to leave the room without taking any of the food, he realized how foolish that would be. 

At least he was one of those fortunate people who could eat even if he was upset, so he heated his breakfast porridge, ate it, and made himself a mug of coffee. He went to the foyer to retrieve his outerwear while looking out the windows to check the weather, noting that the sun was shining brightly, but it looked chilly. He took his things, went back to the kitchen, grabbed his coffee and bento, entered the garage, got into the car, and drove away. He wondered briefly which bedroom Mirielle had chosen, but that thought was fleeting as he began planning how he was going to deal with the knowledge he now had and how it would affect his company. 

For her part, Miri didn’t sleep that night and instead sat in the chair and stared out the window, although most of the time, the scenery was obliterated by the tears flooding her eyes. She finally decided to get up and make herself useful, and that was when she’d gone to the kitchen to prepare Minseok’s breakfast and lunch, and once she’d done that, she’d gone back to her room and waited until she’d heard him rustling around downstairs. She came out of her room and stood in the hall at the top of the stairs where he couldn’t see her, listening to his familiar morning noises as tears coursed down her cheeks, a small smile curving her lips when she heard him reheating his breakfast, then eating it while he watched the news on the small tv in the kitchen. Once she heard him leave the house, she went downstairs, cleaned up the kitchen, then prepared herself for the day, and left for her office. 

And that was life for the two of them for the next three months. They declined all of the Christmas and New Year’s Eve party invitations they received and only appeared together in public when it was absolutely necessary – when anyone asked, they both claimed to be too busy and all they had time for was sleep – and luckily, no-one pried too deeply. Lisa tried, but Miri deflected all her friend’s questions, and after a couple of weeks, Lisa stopped asking, knowing Miri would confide in her if and when she was ready. Chinhwa, being a guy, saw something wrong with Minseok, but he didn’t pry, and when Lisa tried to get him to find out what it was, he told her no. So, as far as anyone knew, there was something possibly wrong... or maybe not.


	3. Chinhwa will fix it

It was the end of January, almost three months to the day since Minseok had banished her to the other side of the house, and Mirielle rolled onto her side, looked at the display of the fancy cell phone-speaker-clock that Minseok had given her for her birthday the previous year, and frowned when she saw that it said three a.m. She didn’t care so much that it was that time in the morning as that her husband still wasn’t choosing to sleep in the bed beside her. 

She had been tossing and turning for most of the night, unable to rest, which had been the norm even after all these months, and finally, she sat up, rubbed her hands over her face, slid her feet into her slippers, then grabbed her silk robe from the foot of the bed and wore it as she padded out of the room. 

She walked down the stairs to Minseok’s office, sighing softly when she saw the light shining under the door, then she knocked quietly, turned the knob, and peeked in. And there was her handsome husband, asleep on the couch. The sight of him here, rather than in his bed, had become common, and Miri’s heart clenched. She bit back a sudden sob, not wishing to awaken him as she knew he would hate the sight of her, and instead, she took the soft sherpa throw from the back of the couch, covered him with it, then kissed him tenderly on the forehead, before turning off the light. She walked to the door and looked back at him as he slept so peacefully, then left the office and quietly closed the door behind her. 

Miri sighed softly and went upstairs, and since she knew she wouldn't be able to get any more sleep, she showered, performed what had become her typical morning routine, then dressed and left for the office. 

Minseok woke up a couple of hours later, groaning as his muscles complained from having laid on the couch instead of in bed on the comfortable mattress. He sat up and placed his feet on the floor, scrubbed his face with his hands, then looked around, shaking his head when he realized he’d been too tired to walk up the stairs the previous night, hence his couch camping. 

He stood up, groaning again as a few of his joints cracked and his back panged when he stretched, and then he left the room and climbed the stairs to the bedroom. He hadn’t looked at a clock yet, but he thought it still looked reasonably early, so he expected that Miri was still sleeping, but he steeled his resolve and refused his heart’s request to check on her. 

Even after what had happened, even with not allowing her to come in contact with him, he’d wait until late at night while he was in his office, and once he thought she was asleep, he’d approach her room quietly, open the door silently, then watch her as she tossed and turned, her soft whimpers breaking his soul. Still, he wasn’t ready to make a decision about their relationship. She had never known he had watched her, and he never knew she did the same thing, and both of them imagined their love was shattered forever. 

He wandered into the bathroom to pee and noticed a handwritten note on the sink. After he did his business and washed his hands, he picked up the message and sighed softly, a disappointed frown creasing the skin between his eyes. 

_“Dear Seokie-ah, I have gone to work. Your breakfast is in the fridge, ready to be reheated; just pop it in the microwave for thirty seconds. The coffee is ready to go; push the button, and you’ll have a fresh cup in a minute. I also packed you a bento; please take that with you if you go to the office; otherwise, eat it at home. Have a good day. Love, Miri”_

It was the first time she’d written a salutation or signature in any note she’d left him over the past three months, and she hadn’t mentioned leaving him dinner, and that frightened him, as he knew her well enough to know she would only use the name he’d forbidden her to say when she’d finally given up all hope that he would forgive her. 

He walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed, trying to remember the last time he’d had any sort of contact with his wife, and suddenly, his eyes opened wide. “No... no, that can’t be the last time... oh god... Miri-ah... my poor baby... jesu, I need to see her... I have to tell her how I feel...” 

Unfortunately, although Mirielle had tried to make the best of the circumstances, as the weeks wore on, she became more and more depressed, and as she was one of those people who can’t eat when they’re upset, she also began to lose weight. It was significant enough that Lisa noticed and finally confronted her later that day, the girl forcing Miri to stay in her office by standing in front of the door and locking it before Miri could escape. 

“Tell me what is going on, Mir,” Lisa said as she stood there with her arms crossed in front of her chest while she leaned against the door. 

Mirielle sighed and turned around to walk back toward the windows and look out over the city. It was almost seven at night, so the lights of the streets were bright, and she could see in the windows of the office building across from theirs, but she wasn’t paying attention to what was happening and was instead seeing the vision of her husband’s face when he’d told her to leave him alone. 

“I... I can’t...” Miri replied, wincing when she heard Lisa hiss in frustration. 

“Yes, you can... Miri, we’ve known each other since high school, we’ve told each other everything... I know you’re losing weight, and I know that means something is wrong, and honest to god, if you don’t tell me, I’m going to tell Minseok!” Lisa smiled smugly as she imagined that would earn an immediate reaction from Miri. It did, but not the one she was expecting. 

“He won’t care.” Miri replied hollowly. 

Lisa blinked. “What? Why wouldn’t he care??” 

Miri sighed again, then turned around and walked over to sit behind her desk. “Because he’s deciding whether he wants a divorce or not.” 

Lisa blinked again, then came to sit in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk. “What??” 

“Yep... he’s been thinking about it since October... I don’t know if he’s made a decision and just hasn’t told me, and the paperwork will just show up... I haven’t talked to him since... since it all happened...” 

Lisa frowned. “Since what happened?” 

“I... I told him some things about my past that no-one else knows, Lis, not even you... and... and I think it was the final straw that broke my marriage.” Miri sobbed suddenly, then placed her hand over her eyes and took deep breaths to keep herself from breaking down. 

“Miri... what... what did you tell him... can you tell me?” Lisa stood up, grabbed the tissue box from Miri’s desk, then handed it to her. 

Miri took the box, grabbed a couple of tissues, then set the box down. “I... I shouldn’t, but... but I can’t hide it any longer; I need to be able to talk about it. Chinhwa’s sister doesn’t even know, and you can’t tell him, this is... this is bad...” She looked up and met Lisa’s gaze, and the other girl nodded as she frowned. 

“All right, I won’t say anything to him...” 

Miri leaned back in her chair, took a deep breath, then told Lisa all of it, leaving nothing out, including everything that Minseok had said to her and what their home life had been like since the conversation. When she was finished speaking, Lisa was staring at her in shock, which caused Miri to chuckle mirthlessly. “And now is when you’re supposed to say, ‘Well, Kim Mirielle, I hope you can live without me in your life too because I can’t be friends with such a dirty, disgusting piece of shit. Get the fuck out of my building.’” Miri leaned forward, put her hands over her face, and started to sob – deep, heartrending cries, as her control finally broke, and she gave in to the sorrow she’d felt since the moment Minseok had rejected her. 

Lisa jumped up from her chair and ran around the desk, then wrapped her arms around Miri’s shoulders, hugging her tight and holding her while she came apart. “No, that is not what I’m going to say, Miri-ah... you are not dirty or disgusting, and I will never not be your friend. I understand why Minseok was upset, and I also understand why I shouldn’t say anything to Chinnie, but I think Minseok is wrong, and I... I need to tell Chin so that he can talk to Minseok...” Lisa started talking faster as Miri began to argue. “No, Miri, no, listen to me, you have to let me tell Chin so he can talk to Minseok because it isn’t the way Minseok thinks it is... Miri, stop for a minute... think about it... you are not obligated to disclose your familial relationship to Minseok’s board of directors, and neither is he... yes, you have money from them, but... but you could deny it, couldn’t you? I mean, if Minseok wanted you to do that? Could you give it all back and ask to be taken out of the will? So, none of the money would touch you?” 

Miri slowly began to calm down, then blew her nose and wiped her eyes as she started to hear what Lisa was saying. “I... I think so... yes...” 

“If Minseok feels that strongly about it, then you’d do that if you could, wouldn’t you?” Lisa asked as she pulled a chair over to sit beside her friend. 

Miri nodded. “Absolutely, yes... if he said that would fix us... that would help him love me again... yes, I would absolutely give it all up... it’s not like I use any of it anyway; it’s all just accumulating in a bank account...” 

“Okay, then... let me tell Chinnie... or better yet, let me call him to come over here, and you tell him since you can give him all the details if he has specific questions... he’ll be able to tell us if there really is an obligation for disclosure through the company, and if not, then... then he could talk to Minseok. Even if there is a disclosure issue, he could still talk to Minseok and tell him you’d be willing to give it all up for him...” Lisa offered Miri a gentle smile and carefully brushed at her tears. 

Miri smiled back, then sighed, and the smile fled her lips. “That’s all fine, except... I can’t give him children either, and that’s not so easily fixed... I can’t just say I want my fertility back... and he wants kids so badly. He never said as much, but if I had told him I didn’t want kids when we were first dating, I know he would have broken up with me. But... but I wanted kids... no, I wanted to have children with him... I wanted to see him be the great father I know he would be, so I could witness what it is supposed to be like, instead of always remembering what my childhood entailed. And now... now that can’t happen. And... and I don’t think Minseok would be willing to keep me, even if I did give up everything else because I can’t give him children.” 

Lisa blinked. “I don’t believe that Miri... you said yourself, the doctor gave you options, and even if you end up not being able to carry the child, there are ways for you to be the mother of it... and, it’s also possible to reverse the surgery... so... Miri, you need to talk to Chin... if for no other reason so that you and Minseok can resolve this issue, once and for all. Do you want to have to spend any longer wondering if the next knock on your door will be a courier with divorce papers?” 

Miri sighed and shook her head. “No, you’re right... not only do I not want to keep waiting for that, but Minseok should be allowed to find a wife who can be what he wants – a pure being and the mother of his children. I’m not either of those.” 

Lisa tilted her head. “What do you mean, you’re not a pure being? Being part of a family that you didn’t know anything about doesn’t make you a bad person. And even when you did find out, it’s not like you asked them to take you in...” 

Miri smiled brokenly and shook her head. “No, that wasn’t what I meant... my father... he ruined me... he took my innocence and my purity, and he sullied it... nothing I ever do will cleanse me of his shame, and I should apologize to Minseok for allowing him to touch me when I knew how foul I was. I lied to him every time he came near me. He is right to hate me. I deserve his disgust.” 

Lisa shook her head. “No, no, Miri, stop thinking like that, right now! I’m calling Chinnie, and he’ll come over, and you’ll tell him everything, and he’ll fix it all... you’ll see... you stay here, I'm going to go to my office and get my phone; I left it in there so it wouldn’t disrupt us. Don't you dare go anywhere, okay? You promise?” 

Miri sighed softly and nodded her head, and Lisa got up and left the office. The minutes ticked by, and Miri started to wonder if Lisa was coming back or if she’d thought about all she’d been told and had hightailed it out of the building while hoping Miri would get the hint and disappear. Just as she felt she should do that, Lisa reappeared, smiled, and then shut the door behind her. “I talked to Chin, he’s on his way over... he asked me what it was about, but I told him I couldn’t say anything other than that it concerned you and Minseok, and he said that he was hoping you could explain why Minseok has been so strange for the past few months. So... he should be here shortly. Do you need anything before he gets here?” 

Miri nodded her head, and she stood up. “I need to go to the restroom. I’ll be right out.” She walked into her private bathroom, and when she came out a few minutes later, she’d washed her face and looked slightly refreshed. And, she’d changed clothes. She’d been wearing a skirt, blouse, and high heels, and now she was clad in a pair of leggings, a long sweater, and short boots. 

“You have clothes here?” Lisa asked. “That’s a cute outfit! You have to let me borrow it sometime!” 

Miri laughed sadly and nodded her head. “I have clothes here... since Minseok and I don’t share the same room at the house anymore, and since we do everything in our power to avoid each other, I brought some clothing here, and I stay here during the weekends. I don’t even know if he realizes I’m not at home, other than that my car is gone. If he does know, he doesn’t care. And you can borrow anything that’s in the closet in there, just don’t take it all.” 

Lisa shook her head. “Oh, Miri, I’m... I promise everything will be okay... and I’m teasing... I mean, it is cute, but no, I have enough of my own clothes.” Suddenly there was a knock at the office door, and Lisa called, “Come in!” 

The door opened, Chinhwa entered, and right behind him was... Minseok.


	4. On the run again

Miri stood up from her desk and blinked, looking between the three people in her office, then quickly ran into her bathroom, slammed the door, and locked it. 

“Miri! Miri, come out!! You said you’d talk to Chinnie!!” Lisa called as she knocked on the door and tried the handle. 

“I said I’d talk to Chinnie; I didn’t say I wanted to see Minseok!!” 

“I should go; I knew this was a bad idea,” Minseok said to Chinhwa, then turned to leave the office. 

“No! You need to stay here and deal with this, Min... we’ll get Miri out of there, and the four of us will figure it out... this can’t go on any longer, regardless of what the outcome is...” 

Minseok frowned, then nodded and locked the office door, then went to sit in a chair, but Lisa gestured to him. “Come over here,” she said, then when he was standing beside her, she whispered, “You have to talk to her, Minseok... you have to convince her to come out... she thinks you hate her...” 

Minseok didn’t say anything for a long moment, then he replied, “I... I kind of did...” 

Lisa and Chinhwa both stared at him with a shocked expression, and suddenly the bathroom door unlocked, opened, and Miri stepped out. 

Looking up into Minseok’s gorgeous, beloved face, Miri offered him a tiny, broken smile, her beautiful amber gaze filled with tears, and whispered, “I understand, Minseok... if you send the papers, I’ll sign them, just like I said I would... goodbye...” 

Before any of them could react, Miri sprinted to the office door, unlocked and yanked it open, then raced out into the hall and away, heading for the elevator. Miri had left her bag in the bathroom when she’d arrived at the office that morning, so when she went in after she saw Minseok with Chinhwa, she had everything she needed to make a break for it if it came to that. And it had. Unfortunately, none of the three people Miri was running from was as inept as Mr. Deung had been, and it only took a fraction of a second before they were chasing after her. Consequently, when she pushed the button for the elevator, even though the door was starting to open, they would have reached it before Miri could have been able to get it closed, so she did the only other thing she could think of... she ran into the stairwell and started pounding down the stairs. 

“Goddamit, Minseok, what the fuck is wrong with you???!!!” Chinhwa shouted as he and Lisa ran into the elevator. “We’ll go down to the first floor and wait at the stairwell door; you go after her in case she goes into another floor!!” 

Minseok didn’t answer as he raced past and slammed open the door to the stairs, then stopped when he couldn’t hear Mirielle’s footsteps. “Mirielle? Miri, we need to talk... I’m sorry for what I just said; I didn’t mean it; I’m just... so confused... still...” 

He heard the sound of her feet as she started running down the stairs again, and he began descending after her, although he was unable to see her when he’d look over the railing, as she was staying away from the center. Suddenly, he heard the sound of a door opening, then closing, and he began to run faster, knowing if he didn’t see which door she’d gone in, he would have no idea what floor to enter. Except then he realized that even if he did know, he didn’t have a key card and wouldn’t be able to open the door anyway. 

“Fuck!!” He yelled, then called Chinhwa. Luckily, the people who’d planned the building had expected people to want to talk on their phones from anywhere inside it, so he was able to receive a decent signal, and when Chinhwa answered the call, Minseok said, “Miri bailed onto a floor, and I don’t know which one... and I can’t get into any of them anyway, since I don’t have a card... I’m coming down; wait for me since you’ll need to let me out...” 

Mirielle had known Minseok couldn’t follow her, and as she walked quickly along the corridor of the floor she’d fled to, she thought about what she needed to do. “I have to get to my car... except they’ll expect that... maybe I should go back up and get a key to one of the corporate cars... except they’ll see the elevator go up to our floor, and Lisa will figure out what I’m doing... damn her for being so much like me... meh... hm, I could walk back up... except they’d probably take the elevator and be there ahead of me... well, let’s see... what if I try this...” 

There were four elevators. Miri walked to the elevator lobby on the floor where she was, pushed the button for all four of them so they would come to her, then entered each one as the door opened and pressed the buttons for every floor before exiting. She had sent each one to the very top of the building, then down floor by floor to the subbasement, so even if Chinhwa, Lisa, and Minseok tried to catch her, they wouldn’t be able to do it until one of the lifts had arrived at the first floor, which wouldn’t be for a few minutes. Granted, it made it more difficult for her to get back down to the car park beneath the building, but if she timed it right, she could catch one of the elevators before it started to ascend again, and it would be empty. 

There was also a freight elevator, but that one was slower... still, it could foil her escape, so she went to that one, called it to the floor where she was, then did the same thing, only this time, she got in and rode it to the top, exited there, then pushed every button for it to slowly descend to the lowest floor it could. 

She raced to Lisa’s office, ran in and grabbed a car key, then raced back out to the stairwell and started down again. At this point, she imagined that Chinhwa, Lisa, and Minseok had gathered on the first floor and made a plan. The chances were that each of them was in a different elevator and banking on the hope that she’d pick one of the ones they were in when she decided to try to descend again. Except they might not have expected her to take the stairs to where she thought the freight elevator would be and somehow manage to catch it as it made its way down. 

Today, Murphy and his law were on Miri’s side, and she calculated correctly... she entered a floor, ran to the side where the freight elevator was and was gratified to find it just opening its doors to welcome her in. And, there was no-one else there. So, she got in. And then, as it began to descend, she remembered that she’d pushed every button, so she would have to stand there while it stopped on each floor, opened the door, then wait until the door closed so that it would descend again. Hm. Hopefully, it wouldn’t occur to any of the three other people that there was a freight elevator. 

“I mean, Lisa knows we have one, but she never uses it... I sometimes do because I like that it takes its time to get to the top... so, maybe she’s forgotten we have it... and maybe Chinhwa and Minseok won’t think about it either, or if they do, they won’t think I know about it...” Miri shook her head. “Well, if you do get caught, what difference does it make? You’re just postponing the inevitable by running away, Minseok will file for divorce, and you’ll be all alone, just like you feared. Why do you even keep trying to survive? Now that Lisa knows about you, and it sounds like Minseok told Chinhwa... they’ll start to hate you too... and soon, you’ll have no-one except a family you don’t even know... and you don’t want to know... so... it wouldn’t be that bad if you just... just got rid of yourself, for once and for all. It would be better, actually... then there couldn’t be any issues with your background and Minseok’s business... and you wouldn’t have to feel any more pain.” 

By the time those thoughts had finished cycling through Miri’s brain, the freight elevator was arriving on the lowest level of the car park, and she stepped off the lift and into the garage, then started to walk toward the ramp that would lead to the next level where the company cars were parked. She stopped for a moment and removed her boots, so she wouldn't make noise as she walked. Of course, she had no plan, as usual, but once she either got away or was caught, she’d decide what to do. 

Again, Mr. Murphy was looking the other way, and Miri was able to get to the next level of the garage, find the Mercedes SUV that resembled hers, and drive it out of the building. She pulled onto the street and started away, just as Minseok burst out the front door of the building, yelling and waving his arms as he tried to get Miri to stop, but she ignored him and continued driving, speeding up as she got further away. She checked the gas gauge, happy to note the tank was full, and sending a silent thank you to the mechanics who kept the car in working condition, then turned her attention to where she should go. 

Minseok’s house was not an option. She didn’t have anything there that she wanted any longer, and since he’d made no effort to come near her during the past three months, she didn’t think he would like her to step foot inside, even if he wasn’t home. She knew she couldn’t go to Jeju, as it was too easy for them to fly down there and be waiting for her when she arrived, and Jindo Island was out of the question. She and Minseok had gone down there numerous times to enjoy long weekends, and all that was there for her now were ruined memories. 

As she drove, she became more aware of her surroundings, and she recognized the Dongdaemun Gate, then remembered that she’d heard about a hotel there that was supposed to be very nice. She drove around a bit, found the hotel, then parked outside the entrance. She sat for a long moment, looked at the doors, and finally made up her mind before driving away. 

The next morning, Miri woke up, disoriented and headachy, unsure of where she was, until she sat up and opened her eyes, then remembered. She sighed heavily, got off the bed and went into the bathroom, then took a long bath before wrapping herself in the robe provided to the hotel guests, and going back in the bedroom. She set her bag on the bed, then sat down, dragged her laptop out, opened it up, and checked her email. And found a few dozen from Lisa, three or four from Chinhwa, and at least a hundred from Minseok. One of the subjects of his said, ‘ _I’m sorry_.’ She was sure the body of it would say, ‘ _I’m sorry to say that I can’t forgive you_.’ So, she didn’t open any of them. Instead, she composed an email to her husband, cc’d her friends, re-read it a few times, then finally sent it. Afterward, she put everything away, dressed in her sweater, leggings, and boots, and left her room. 

“I just got an email from Miri!!” Lisa yelled to Chinhwa and Minseok as they sat in the kitchen of Lisa and Chin’s apartment while trying to discover where Miri was holed up. 

“She didn’t reply to any of mine!” Minseok exclaimed, although when he looked at his email, he hummed. “Hm... she sent one to me, too... oh wait, she cc’d you guys... is this the one you got, Lisa?” He showed the screen to her, she looked at her laptop, then Chinhwa showed them the one he received, and they concluded it was the same one, sent to all three of them. 

“Okay, Lis, open it, and let’s see what it says,” Chinhwa said, as he and Minseok sat Lisa between them at the kitchen counter, and they all looked at the laptop screen. 

_Dear Seokie-ah,_

_I know you don’t want me to call you that pet name any longer, and I suppose I shouldn’t call you dear either since I know you are disgusted by me. I can’t say I blame you; I’m disgusted by me, too. I apologize for not telling you about my family when I first met you, but... I was afraid to lose you. It’s not the sort of conversation you have with someone you don’t know very well, obviously, and by the time I got to know you, I knew my grandmother was sick and only had a short time left to live, and I was terrified of being all alone._

_I know I had friends, and yes, there was my father’s family, but... friends aren’t usually there in the middle of the night when the boogeyman is haunting your dreams, and I don’t know my family... and, I didn’t want to ask them for help. I knew what they were, and honestly, I didn’t want to be involved with it. Yes, I know that the trust fund sort of belies my statement, but... I’ve never spent a penny of that money... I never actually knew what to do with it, truth be told. I’m not sure what will happen when my grandfather passes and the inheritance comes to me. I don’t know if I will suddenly be expected to run the organization or if it will be sold to someone else, and the inheritance will be from the sale... I... I just don’t know. All I know is that I loved you more than I’d ever loved anyone, even my grandmother, and you made me feel safe for the first time in my life. And I was so afraid to lose that._

_I never had someone who actually cared for me, as you did. My grandmother cared, but of course, it was different... you nurtured me in ways she couldn’t. You made me believe I was beautiful, that my past didn’t have to define me, that there is good in men... that I was worthy of love and comfort and respect... that I was allowed to be happy... I could say no and be loved anyway... I could say yes and mean it... I could cherish and be cherished by someone who I loved with every fiber of my being. I was so afraid of losing you that I... lost you because of my fear._

_I thought I’d hidden my secret deeply enough that it wouldn’t need to be revealed. I never intended to use any of the money that was being sent from my trust fund. It gets deposited in accounts that I don’t monitor and leave alone. I have an accountant who takes care of all of the taxes and makes sure all I have to do is sign the forms every year, but he never asks what the money is, and I never give him any explanation. The only thing I ever used any of the interest for was to pay him for his services. I don’t even really think of it as mine._

_I don’t know what I would have done with the money I would inherit from my grandfather. I had a vague notion that I would pretend I hadn’t known anything about it, and then you and I could have given it all to charity, including the trust fund money... like, all of it. I thought that would be a fitting way for that money to be distributed since it had been earned nefariously. Even though I had nothing to do with how it was acquired. I just thought that one day, when it happened... you and I would figure it out together. My bad._

_So, now, as my most terrifying nightmare comes true, all I can do is apologize for not being honest with you from the beginning. I’m so sorry for wasting so much of your life when you could have been married to someone without a dark secret and who could have given you children. I imagine you’d have three or four by now, but I stole that from you. You’re still young, you can always find someone, and you are so easy to love... I’m sure it won’t be long at all before you’ll be happy and watching your pregnant wife as she prepares to give birth to your baby... I know you will find someone perfect. You used to say I was made for you, but now we both know you were wrong, and... and I know you regret meeting me._

_Other than not telling you the whole truth from the beginning, my biggest regret was not being able to see or talk or touch you since I told you... because now, I will never do any of those things again, and my last memory will be of you stopping me from saying the nickname you always said you loved. I understand why you stopped me. I understand why you told me to go away. I appreciate that you said I didn’t have to leave the house, but I wish you had... or that I had been strong enough to do it myself... because being there, knowing you were there, and not being able to be near you... that was worse than being alone. I wish you’d been cruel enough to tell me that you wanted me dead because I would have done that for you. To try to make amends for what I’d stolen. For all of your time that I wasted._

_Then again, allowing me to stay while acting like I didn’t exist was torture for me, so maybe telling me to leave would have been too lenient, and you chose the perfect punishment._

_I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I won’t go back to your home; you can throw everything that was mine away. I won’t go to Japan, because I don’t want to have anything to do with my family. I can’t go to any of my friends, because now that I’ve admitted who I am, I don’t have any. And I can never have love because I can’t give anything in return, my body is useless, and I am truly worthless._

_I am sure I have been terminated from my position at Han Corporation; I would be astonished if I haven’t. Consequently, I won’t be returning there either. I don’t know where I’ll go. Please know that I will contact you whenever I decide, so you’ll know whether to send the divorce paperwork for me to sign or a coroner to identify my body._

_Thank you for the moments you gave me. Thank you for letting me be happy, for learning what love was. I’m sorry that I ruined everything. I’m sorry that I wasn’t braver, so I could have told you the truth years ago. I have always been a coward. I was never able to say no to my father, and he taught me fear... if I could have said no to him, he would have stopped; I know it._

_I know my therapist says it’s not so, but... but if I could just have made him see that I was his daughter, not his plaything... I could have made him stop. But I didn’t, because I was weak and a coward and... worthless. I should have never left my grandmother’s house and gone to university. I should have accepted what I knew was true, and that was I should have killed myself when my grandmother died because she was the last person who knew who I was, and no-one else should have ever had to learn._

_I’m sorry this was so long, I just... I needed to say all of it. I need you to know that I understand what a piece of trash I am. And that I’m so sorry I forced you to be with me for the years since we met... I’m so sorry. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, so I won’t ask. I only hope that you can get past the hatred you have for me, so you can love someone else and trust them. I want you to be happy. I hope you find love and happiness, and that one day, you’ll forget you ever knew me. It shouldn’t be that difficult. I’m not worth remembering._

_I loved you with all my heart, Seokie-ah... and my love made me afraid because I didn’t know how to let go... but now, I have no choice._

_Goodbye... please forget me._

_Mirielle_

The three of them stopped reading, and there was complete silence for a long moment until Lisa spoke. 

“I wouldn’t have fired her, and she could have stayed with Chinnie and me... right, Chinnie?” She turned her dark gaze to her husband as tears slipped down her cheeks, and Chinhwa nodded, then pulled her to him when she started to wail. 

Minseok sat on the other side of her and re-read the email, then spoke softly. “Lisa... did you have GPS installed in the Han company vehicles when Chinhwa suggested it after Mirielle went to Jeju?”


	5. The jig is up

_A short while later_

“You know this is illegal, right...” Chinhwa said. 

“Shut up.” Minseok replied. 

“No, seriously... this goes against the covenant we have with our customers...” Chinhwa commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“I said shut up...” Minseok growled, frowning as he looked at his friend. 

“Oh wait, no, that’s right, you’re too honest and forthright to do something that might be considered wrong... I forgot...” Chinhwa said as he rolled his eyes. 

“Goddammit, will you both fucking shut up??!!!” Yunho shouted. 

Chinhwa and Minseok gaped at the man, who was glaring at them after his outburst. 

“I have no idea what the fuck your problem is with each other, or why we’re doing this, but honest to god, if you don’t fucking stop arguing, I’m going to get up and leave, and you can try to figure this shit out on your own... got it?” Yunho stared at both of the men, who nodded sheepishly. “All right... so, I’ve tracked the SUV to a rental car agency. I’m going to assume that the person we’re tracking is Miri since you two are involved, and Lisa is in the other room, fuming.” 

Chinhwa and Minseok nodded, both looking like chastised children, which caused Yunho to snicker. 

“Oh my god, you guys look so guilty right now; I need to take pictures so that I can use them against you later...” He started laughing when the two men began to protest loudly. “I’m kidding. Okay, so... first, I need to look for vehicles that were rented since last night, and they should have GPS attached to them, so I will be able to find where those cars are now. It will take a while.” 

Chinhwa and Minseok nodded their heads, then sat and stared at the screen while Yunho tap-tapped at the keyboard. Suddenly, a list of names popped up, and the three of them read through it anxiously until Yunho pointed at one. “There she is... okay, she rented a Hyundai, here is the GPS signature, now... let’s see where she... okay, here we go... the car is at the J.W. Marriott at Dongdaemun Square. I can get us into the reservation database for the hotel, but if she used an alias, it might take a while to find out if she’s staying there and what room she’s in.” 

“I can tell you that if she is staying there, she will either be in the most expensive room or another one that is close to the most expensive... if nothing else, Miri knows how to stay in style...” Minseok sighed softly. “God, I hope she’s there... what if she booked a room, dropped off the rental car, then called an Uber? She could go anywhere in the entire world...” 

“You know, this is a great time to think about that... considering you’d be the reason she’d be going anywhere else... why the fuck didn’t you talk to her sooner??” Chinhwa was angrier than Minseok or Yunho had ever seen him, and he was itching for a fight, which Minseok was trying to avoid giving him. 

“Chinnie, I need you!” Lisa called from the other room, causing Yunho to breathe an internal sigh of relief. 

“I’m coming, jagiya,” He called to her, then got up from his chair and glared at Minseok. “You and I... we’re going to settle this shit once and for all, once we find Miri and she’s safe. I am sick and tired of having to track down your wife because you’ve been a fucking asshole to her, again. That poor girl had a horrible life before she met you, and you just keep pushing her back into that hell... you selfish bastard...” Chinhwa finished speaking and stalked out of the room where Yunho had set up his laptop, leaving him and Minseok to sit in awkward silence. 

“Just... just do what you can to find out where she went... if she checked into a room, hopefully, it won’t be a decoy... although she has learned quite a few tricks that she should never have had to know...” Minseok sniffled and wiped his eyes as tears slowly leaked out, and Yunho nodded his head. 

“I’ll do my best, boss...” 

A short time later, Minseok, Chinhwa, Lisa, and Yunho were in Yunho’s SUV on their way to the hotel after Yunho determined that Mirielle did rent a room. They weren’t too surprised that she’d picked one at the top of the price list – an executive deluxe suite - which meant that if they were going to catch her – if she were actually staying at the hotel – they would need to rent the other rooms on her floor... which would cost quite a lot of won. 

“All right, so we’re a group of co-workers in Seoul for meetings... hopefully we won’t look too suspicious, although I know they have meeting rooms, maybe we should ask about booking one of those, too...” Minseok said. 

“That’s ridiculous,” Chinhwa said, still not over his mad. “If we book a huge room like that and then don’t use it, that wouldn’t be suspicious at all... aish; you’re a fucking idiot...” He turned his head and looked out the back seat window while Lisa gently squeezed his hand. 

“Look, Chin...” Minseok said as another awkward silence settled over the car, “I’m sorry, okay? I just... you and I have worked so hard to build our reputation as a serious, trustworthy business, and Miri’s revelation completely blindsided me... did you or Lisa think anything like that was possible? I mean, you both knew she had a hard childhood, but to that extent? And then her family ties, on top of it?” 

Chinhwa sighed, and Lisa patted his hand. “No, you’re right... still, I just... why did it take you so long to talk to her? I mean... if all of this hadn’t happened now, would you even be ready to talk to her yet?” 

Minseok sighed and shrugged his shoulders, then turned his head as Yunho went around a corner. “We’re almost there... I... I hope she’s there, and I can... god, I keep saying I hope I can make things up to her, and then I do something else that almost kills her... maybe she should divorce me and find a man who would treat her the way she deserves to be treated, all the time...” 

“She loves you, Minseok,” Lisa said quietly, and all three men looked at her. “She doesn’t want someone else... if she can’t have you, she’ll be alone, that’s what she meant in her email... she’d rather die... so, somehow, you’d better make her believe that you love her, because if you don’t, and something happens to her... I... I don’t know what I’ll do, but I will hate you for sure...” Lisa glared at Minseok, then turned her head and looked out the window while Chinhwa patted her hand. 

“I know... I’ll hate myself, too, if anything happens to her... I know this is my fault; I know I should have... I should have loved her enough not to leave her like that for so long...” 

“Yes, you should have... and if you can’t, Minseok... if you can’t give her the love she needs from you... don’t promise her that you will... at least give her the truth, since it seems you put such worth on that...” Lisa shut her mouth and refused to say anything further. 

“You know... I have an idea...” Yunho piped up from the driver’s seat just as they were pulling up to the hotel entrance. 

Later that afternoon, Mirielle returned to the hotel with her arms loaded with bags. She’d been shopping for clothes and various toiletry items, although as she stepped into the elevator and the lift ascended toward her floor, she sighed, looked at everything, and tears began to slip down her cheeks. “Well... if you don’t take the tags off, then Minseok can return everything if you decide to... to use what you bought...” she whispered softly to herself, chuckling sadly. “And you should get used to talking to yourself if you decide not to go through with that because you’re the only one who will ever talk to you again... so you better not piss yourself off, or you’ll really be lonely... haha...” 

Miri was partially laughing and partially crying as she exited the car and walked to her room door, and as she set her bags down to rummage in her purse for the key card for the door, she thought she heard the television on inside the room. Shrugging her shoulders, she whispered as she pushed the card into the slot and waited for it to turn green, “Must be one of the other hotel guests with their tv on loud... I wonder what they’re doing... I remember Minseok used to do that when he was going to...” 

“When he was going to do what?” Minseok asked as Miri walked into her room, causing her to shriek, drop her bags, and immediately turn around to flee. Except Chinhwa and Lisa were standing right behind her now, and they both pushed her back into the room, then quickly shut the door. 

“LET ME OUT!!! PLEASE!!!!! PLEASE LISA, PLEASEEEEE!!!” Mirielle pounded on the door, shrieking and sobbing, then tried to pull on the handle, but it was apparent that Chinhwa was holding it from the other side, and she couldn’t make it budge. “PLEASE LISA, I BEG....” 

Before she could scream anything else, Minseok was standing behind her, and he’d placed one hand over her mouth while wrapping his other arm around her waist, then picked her up and carried her toward the bathroom. “Mirielle! Stop that right this instant!! I’m not going to hurt you!!!” 

All of the things that could be done to kill someone in a bathroom began playing in Miri’s head, and she struggled harder, kicking and screaming, even going so far as to bite the meat of Minseok’s palm when he tried to hold her head steady so she wouldn’t smack the back of her head into his nose. He hissed in pain but refused to release his grip on her, and as he entered the bathroom and shut that door, she became even more hysterical, her voice rising as she panicked and fought him. She dug her fingernails into his wrist, kicked at his shins, and tried throwing her head back – anything to escape his hold. 

“KIM MIRIELLE!! STOP!!! I AM NOT GOING TO HURT YOU!!!!” Minseok shouted after she aimed a particularly vicious kick of her boot heel against the front of his leg, which he knew would leave a bruise for weeks. He stepped into the shower, grabbed the handle of the faucet, and turned a full jet of ice-cold water on, soaking Miri’s front and face so she’d have to stop screaming or drown. For a moment, he was afraid she’d choose the latter option, as she continued to shriek, but when the cold began to cause her body to shiver, she stopped, and he stepped back. “Miri... if you start screaming again, I'm going to put you back under the water, and we’ll do that until you are too exhausted to fight me. I would highly suggest you calm down, so we don’t have to go through that, because I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly like cold showers... do I make myself clear?” 

Miri slumped in his embrace and nodded her head, and he turned the water off, then carefully set her on her feet, then began to slip his arm from around her to let her stand. Instead, she collapsed to her knees, crawled into the corner of the shower as far from him as she could get, then curled herself against the wall, her face buried behind her hands, while she tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. “Please... please Sir... please... please don’t tell me... please don’t tell me... please just leave the papers and go... I swear I’ll sign them... I’ll have them delivered to you tomorrow... please, just... just don’t say it out loud... please don’t... don’t tell me what a monster I am... please... I already know... I already know...” 

Minseok started to cry as he listened to Miri’s voice, broken from shrieking so loudly, and now from the painful words she spoke, and he kicked off his shoes, then entered the shower. “Miri... I’m not... there are no papers; I’m not divorcing you... I... I was wrong, and I beg your forgiveness... I should never have made you wait so long... this is all my fault... please, jagiya... Miri-ah... please let me hold you... please let me comfort you...” He came close and reached out to rest his hand gently on her shoulder, and she flinched. 

“You... you shouldn’t touch me, Sir... I’m tainted... I’m disgusting and horrid and unclean... I could have made him stop, but I didn’t, and then I lied, and now... now if you... if you don’t leave me... I’ll corrupt you too... I’ve already done enough damage, please... please let me go, so I can’t do anymore...” Miri kept her back to him as she sobbed, and he suddenly realized he could see her shoulder blades pressing against her sweater, as though she had no flesh on her bones. He suspected that if she were naked, he’d see her ribs, and he hoped she hadn’t starved herself to the point of sickness. 

“Miri... I’m not leaving you... you did nothing wrong; you were a child, you could not have made your father stop, no matter how much you might wish you could have... he believed he owned you... nothing he did to you was your fault, it was his and your mother’s... you had no choice...” He scooched closer, knelt on the wet tile, and spread his legs, then slowly and carefully pulled his wife toward him and into his arms, his flesh pinking with goosebumps when he felt how cold she was. “Honey... let me help you out of your clothes and get you dried off; you’re freezing... it’s too cold to remain wet...” 

Mirielle shook her head, then whimpered, “Please, Sir... no... please... don’t be nice to me... don’t pretend you care for me any longer... I want... I want to believe it, but I know it’s not true...” She lifted her head and looked at the wall in front of her, then tilted her head slightly and whispered, “Oh... unless... unless pretending to care for me so it will punish me more is... oh... okay, I see... all right... I... I deserve to be fooled... I deserve to be 'loved,’ then abandoned... my... my father was right, all along...” Miri spoke the word loved with air quotes, and Minseok’s heart cracked. 

“Miri... shh... I am not pretending... I love you...” He tried to pull her closer, but she resisted, and after a long moment, he stopped trying. 

“No, you don’t, Sir... I heard you when Lisa was talking to you in my office... you said you hated me... and you told me you didn’t want to hear my voice say your nickname, and you used to love it... you told me you didn’t want to see my face... that you might not have wanted me if you’d known the truth at the beginning... and now... now I can’t do anything for you, even if you did want me... I can’t offer you anything that might redeem my worth in your eyes... please, Sir... please just go... take your friends with you... none of you should be forced to be in contact with me... please...” She lowered her head to her knees and came apart, sobbing as her shoulders shook, and she wrapped her arms around her legs, trying to comfort herself as she pulled herself away from him as much as she could. 

“I’m not going anywhere... Chinhwa and Lisa aren’t either... I’m taking you into the other room, and I will remove your clothes and dry you off, and wrap you in the robe provided by the hotel, and then I’ll wrap you in my arms, and I will hold you until you can accept the fact that I love you... I have always loved you... I am an asshole and a coward, and I let my pride and stubbornness take over, again... I let my flawed sense of right and wrong color my thoughts, and I spent the past three months wishing you’d see that I wanted you to come to me to talk... because I was too proud to go to you... Miri-ah... come with me... come on, honey... let me comfort you...”


	6. The demons attack

Miri nodded her head and slowly stood with Minseok’s help, then allowed him to remove her clothes in the shower so that they wouldn’t wet the floor. He pulled one of the soft, fluffy towels from the rack and gently dried her, wrapped her in the robe, then picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. Setting her down slowly, he stepped back and removed his clothes, then pushed the covers down, picked Miri up again, and tucked them both in before holding her close. “Miri-ah... my Miri-ah... I am the one who is sorry; you did nothing wrong. I understand why you didn’t want to tell me... I never meant what I said about not wanting you... about not wanting to hear my nickname from your lips... I... I started missing you the night everything happened, but I was... I was so angry...” 

Miri started to cry and gasped, “I’m... I’m so sorry, Sir... I should have died when my parents did... or when my grandmother did... I should never have believed her when she told me I deserved a better life than I’d had... I deserved everything that happened to me... I’m... I’m...” She started to try to roll away from him, her legs beginning to lift so she could curl into a tiny ball, but he refused to let her go. 

“No, Miri-ah... I’m happy you didn’t die... you deserve the best that life can give you; you never deserved to be treated the way your parents treated you... you did nothing to deserve any of it... and you were powerless... you could not have stopped him, even though you wanted to. I am thankful that you allowed me to show you what real love is, and I am so terribly sorry that I broke your trust. That I allowed my foolishness to hurt you. Your grandmother was right, you and I are exactly matched, and I will always believe that you were made for me... I might not have been made for you since I can’t manage to keep from shattering your heart, but... but please let me take care of you for the rest of your life...” 

“What... what about my... my family... and the money... and having children? How will you explain everything to your family? To your employees? To the board of directors? What if someone finds out and you haven’t told them. I... I don’t want you to lose anything else because of me. I am... I am just a tiny piece of dirt; you would lose nothing if I disappeared.” Miri’s voice was quiet and defeated now, as she continued to sink into her fears, and Minseok held her tighter. 

“You have no control over who your family is... and if they decide that they want to get in contact with you, I don’t have the right to tell you that you can’t see them if you choose to do so... as for the money... if you are serious about donating it to charity, I... I would like that. But if not, then... it’s your money... it’s... it’s sort of like compensation for the pain and suffering you endured at the hands of your parents... so... if you decided to keep some or all of it, I wouldn’t deny you that right. And as for children... you told me about the options, and once you and I are solid again, we can talk about it and decide what we want to try to do... I know you want to have my babies, Miri, but... but if that’s not possible, we can still raise children together... and even if they aren’t directly from our bodies, they would still be our children...” 

Miri slowly began to relax to the sound of Minseok’s warm voice, and before he answered her other questions, her felt her breathing become slow and even, and he realized she was sleeping soundly, and there were no whimpers – probably for the first time since he’d rejected her. 

“I swear, Miri-ah... I know I have promised not to hurt you before, but... but apparently, I am more of a pabo than I realized... so rather than promise I won’t hurt you again, even though I will do my best not to, instead I will promise to heal you... and not wait so long to start the process... my poor baby... I love you so much...” He lay there for a while, just listening to Miri’s steady breathing, and eventually, he closed his eyes to get some much-needed sleep himself. 

A few hours later, he awoke to Miri’s soft voice. 

“Seo... Sir?” 

“Mmm?” 

“You... don’t have to pretend anymore... I won’t scream...” 

“What do you mean, honey? Pretend about what?” Minseok kept his eyes closed, hoping if he didn’t open them that this would all have been a dream, and he and Miri would be asleep in their bed. 

“Pretend about caring for me... or wanting me around... I know you don’t mean it... and it’s okay... I always wished someone would love me, but... but my father told me I was unlovable, and he was right... so... so you don’t have to pretend anymore...” Miri was trying to extricate herself from Minseok’s arms as slowly as possible. 

“Miri-ah... what are you doing?” He asked softly. 

“N-Nothing... I... I have to go to the bathroom... please... let me up...” 

“Not without me, baby... I don’t want you doing anything to hurt yourself... so if you have to go, you’ll have to let me be in there with you...” 

Mirielle sighed softly. “You know... I don’t like it when you’re in there when I am, Sir... even if you aren’t paying attention...” 

“I do know, baby... but I’m not taking any chances right now... so... if you really have to go, then you can go with me, or you can go here, in the bed... those are the only choices you have for the moment...” Minseok slowly opened his eyes and met Miri’s gaze, her beautiful eyes shimmering with tears in the lights from the city, as night had fallen and blanketed the sky with darkness and a myriad of stars. 

“Please... Sir... please don’t make me stay here any longer... please let me... let me go... please just... just leave me... I don’t want to hurt anymore... I don’t want to live with my guilt... I can’t be a woman for you... I can’t give you what someone else can... please, Sir... don’t make me believe you love me again... can’t I... can’t I just have peace?” Miri closed her eyes, and he pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms under the sheets and blankets as his eyes began to leak warm tears at her words. 

“Miri-ah... I’m not pretending, I do love you with all my heart, and no-one else can give me what you do, which is your love... I don’t want anyone else; I want you. I am a foolish, selfish bastard, and I only thought of myself when you told me about your life, instead of remembering what you went through... if you don’t ever forgive me, I won’t blame you, but I will never stop loving you, or trying to make up for being so heartless. You are my world, Miri-ah, I mean it when I tell you that... and as much as I hate to admit it; when you told me about your family, my prejudices clouded my judgment, but... but I am not wholly innocent... and the thing is, you are innocent... you don’t have contact with your family, you aren’t spending their money, the only thing you did was keep your secret to yourself, which didn’t give me the right to treat you the way I did...” Minseok rubbed his hand up and down Miri’s back through the robe as he felt her trembling against him. 

“You were right, though, Sir... I should have told you from the beginning... or better yet, I should not have allowed Siyeon to convince me to go to that party. I always knew... that not saying anything would be the worst thing I could do, but... but I was so afraid to lose you... and now... now, not only have I lost you, but I am a useless husk... please, Sir, please don’t make me hurt anymore... please let me... let me die... I... I bought some things from the drugstore that will make it easy, and it won’t take long... at least, I don’t think it will... and I would go far away, and I’d send the information of where to find me to the police so that they could gather my body and no-one else would accidentally find it... and then you’d be free of all of it... me and the money and my family and what my father did to me... and... and I could be with my grandmother...” Miri was sobbing by the time she finished speaking those words, and so was Minseok. 

He held her tightly, refusing to let her leave his embrace. “No. No, Miri-ah, I will not let you go; I will not let you do away with yourself. I love you, and I will do everything in my power to help you fight the demons in your head that are trying to convince you that I’d be better off without you. None of us would be better off... honey... please let me take care of you... please let me make love to you, let me show you how much you mean to me... let me comfort you...” 

Mirielle stopped struggling and just cried; soft, sad little whimpers and hiccups, with her head tucked under Minseok’s chin, his arms wrapped tight around her. She didn’t speak any further words, and he knew she was castigating her soul, reminding herself of every harsh word that had been told to her during her short and painful life. He wept with her, wishing he could soothe her... wishing he hadn’t been the one to force her into that place in her head. 

Finally, when he felt her beginning to quiet, he gently coaxed her off the bed, out of her robe, and into the bathroom, where he helped her with her business, his hands tender and loving while he made sure she didn’t do any kind of injury to herself, even as she blushed in embarrassment. “Miri-ah... it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked...” he murmured to her; his lips curved into a small smile as he watched her try to cover her body with her hands. 

“I... I know, Sir, but I’m... I’m so ugly... I don’t know how you were able to look at me without vomiting...” 

She was looking down when she said it, her tawny hair hiding her face, so she didn’t see the anguished expression that crossed Minseok’s face, erasing his smile. “Baby... you’re not ugly... please, honey... let me show you how beautiful you are...” 

Mirielle shook her head, then whispered, “I... I don’t want to... I don’t deserve it... please, Sir... don’t be nice to me... I can’t... I can’t be what you want...” She was now standing in front of him with one arm in front of her breasts, and her other hand cupped to hide her mons, and she was hunched over with her knees bent. If he didn’t know she was his young wife, he’d think she was an old, decrepit woman, and yes, he could count her ribs along her back. 

Minseok found himself unable to stop his tears as he watched his sweet wife continue to cling to her mistaken beliefs, and he gently slipped his arms around her. “Ah, Miri... my beautiful girl... shall we take a bath, sweetheart? Would that help you feel more comfortable? It would be warm, and I could wash you... would you let me do that for you? I can’t help but be nice to you, love, you’re my world... and you deserve it... and please don’t call me Sir, it makes me sad...” He felt her body trembling, but she nodded her head to his question. 

“I... I don’t know what else to call you, Sir... if I call you by your name, it will be disrespectful, and I don’t want to make you mad... and... and I can’t call you the other name because you said you couldn’t stand to hear me say it...” Miri whispered the words as though afraid he’d be angry just from her speaking. 

“Miri-ah... I’m so very sorry that I said that to you... I know I keep apologizing, and I know I keep doing things that hurt you, but I swear to god, Miri, I don’t hate you... I don’t think you’re ugly or horrible or a monster... you are my light, my sweet baby, my beautiful, sweet, loving wife... please let go of the cruel words I said to you... please believe me when I tell you that I won’t be able to survive without you... I know you are terribly hurt, and I know it’s my fault, but please, Miri-ah... please don’t leave me... please let me take care of you and prove to you that you are more than a useless husk... my sweet, sweet love...” Minseok rocked her slowly back and forth while holding her close, an almost audible sigh of relief passing his lips when he felt Miri relax a bit further and slide her arms around his waist, then rest her cheek on his chest between his pecs. 

“Will you help me get the bath ready, Miri-ah? They have some bath oil; you can tell me if you like the scent, then put it in the water, okay? Stay near me while I turn on the faucet... that’s my good girl...” He kept a hand on her at all times, tenderly touching her so she could feel his care, and when the bath was ready, he helped her step in, then he did the same. Once he’d sat, he brought her to his lap and slowly began to rinse her skin with the warm, scented liquid. “Do you like the way this smells, baby?” 

He’d been a bit worried that the bath oil would smell overly flowery, but he’d been pleasantly surprised when it had a bit of a vanilla orange blossom scent and not a very strong one. He smiled when Miri nodded her head, then hugged her gently as she leaned fully against him, and he felt her relax further. “Miri-ah... my beautiful Miri-ah... I love you so much, jagiya...” He continued to murmur soft words of love to Miri while he bathed her, his fingertips careful and gentle against her tender skin, and she began to respond, a quiet gasp passing her lips when his hand slipped between her legs. 

He washed her delicately while she tensed on his legs, his heart weeping as he could hear her whispering, “Please, Sir... please don’t hurt me... I’ll be good, and I won’t scream, Sir... please...” 

And suddenly, he realized... “Miri-ah?” 

She seemed to come out of a trance and blinked, then replied. “Yes, Sir?” 

“Honey... is Sir what you called your father?” He swallowed and held his breath, dreading the answer. 

“Y-Yes...” she whispered, then said even more softly, “sometimes if I called him that before he hurt me, he’d let me go back to my room without touching me... it didn’t always work, but I always tried...” 

“Oh god, Miri-ah... I am so sorry you had to live through that and that I brought you back to all of it... I am so sorry...” Minseok held her against his chest and hugged her, his tears slipping from his eyes to drip down his cheeks and drop onto the top of her head. 

“I-It’s all right, Sir,” Miri said, “you... you have every right to hurt me... I deserve it... he was right all along... no-one would ever truly love me because I am odious and abhorrent. I didn’t want to believe him... I tried to listen to my grandmother, but... but she was blinded by her illness and couldn’t see the truth about me...” She slowly began to stand up, using the sides of the tub for leverage and balance, and Minseok reluctantly let her go, worried about her intentions, but needing to see what she would try to do.


	7. Butterfly kisses

“Where are you going, baby?” He whispered to her as she stepped out of the tub and dried off. 

“To get the... the things I bought... so I can go away... permanently...” Miri cast a look full of emptiness toward him, and he was shocked to see the golden color of her eyes was muted, as though the life had left her already. 

He stood up quickly, not bothering to dry off as he walked after her, noting that he wasn’t even really chasing her, as she was moving like she was in a sleepwalking trance, slowly but steadily, her steps leading her toward one of the bags she’d brought into the room with her. He saw the pharmacy's name on the outside and took the bag from her when she picked it up, then looked inside. His eyes widened and filled with tears as he reached into it and drew out a few boxes of sleeping pills. “Miri-ah... were you planning to take all of these at once?” 

She nodded her head. She was again standing hunched over and hiding herself, and Minseok set the boxes back in the bag, put the bag down on the table, then stepped close to her and pulled her into his arms. “Come here, baby,” he whispered to her gently, then coaxed her toward one of the lounge chairs outside the bedroom. Once he’d sat and she’d reluctantly sat in his lap, he held her against his chest and cuddled her, then spoke to her quietly. “Miri... you would have to take many, many more of those than what you bought, to kill yourself, and it wouldn’t be guaranteed that it would work... and it would hurt... you wouldn’t just fall asleep, your stomach would tear itself apart, you’d vomit, your body would convulse... and if you lived, you’d have liver and other issues for the rest of your life. Plus... I am not the only person who would be devastated if you died.” He nuzzled the top of her head, then whispered, “Even if you don’t care how I feel, think about Lisa and Siyeon; they are like sisters to you... they would be crushed, and they would think that they weren’t able to help you, and that’s why you did it...” 

“But... but that wouldn’t be why, Sir...” Miri replied, her voice ragged from all the screaming and sobbing she’d done. “I... I would be ridding everyone of a disgusting piece of garbage that is only cluttering up their lives...” 

Minseok sighed softly and rubbed Miri’s back while shaking his head. “No, baby... none of your friends feel that way about you. I don’t feel that way about you. There would be a huge hole in all of our lives, and no-one else would ever be able to fill it.” He rocked her gently back and forth and murmured, “Miri-ah... let’s order something for dinner... please, baby... you need to eat, and I’m hungry too...” 

Miri sighed and nodded her head, so Minseok stood up and carried her into the bedroom, where they looked through the other bags she’d brought back from her shopping trip. He then helped her wear one of her new outfits – a pretty, grey wool, pinafore mini-dress with black kittens embroidered all over it and a black turtleneck shirt and black leggings. She paired it with short black boots, and Minseok helped her brush out her hair, then pin it back in loose curls. She wasn’t going to wear makeup, but he gently brushed some mascara onto her eyelashes, then thumbed a tiny bit of clear gloss on her lips, which he transferred to his own when he kissed her sweetly. 

“You look adorable, baby,” he said to her while he looked at her over her shoulder, and she checked herself in the mirror. 

“Thank you, Sir, but why are we dressing if we’re ordering dinner?” Miri replied, then sat quietly and waited for his answer while he dressed, wearing the clothes he’d taken off when he’d climbed into bed with her a few hours ago. “You look very handsome.” 

The way she said those words sounded more like something she thought she should say since he’d complimented her, and he wondered if that was part of the conditioning her father had put her through. Minseok took her hand and pulled her to her feet gently, then wrapped her in a hug. “Because there are some people who wish to have dinner with us... well, when I say us, I mean ‘you’ specifically... and thank you for the compliment, jagiya.” 

Mirielle blinked, and a stricken expression came to her beautiful face. “No... no, I don’t want to... no-one wants to see me... they’ll all yell at me... and tell me how awful I am... and...” He observed her as she suddenly quieted, then blinked, and her features became carefully blank. “Oh. I see. Oh... okay...” She offered him a tiny, sad little curve of her lips that didn’t meet her eyes and whispered, “I... I’m ready... to go... Sir...” 

“Miri-ah... my sweet baby... what do you think is going to happen when we join our friends?” He led her out of the bedroom and sat on one of the lounge chairs again before coaxing her into his lap. “Talk to me, sweet love...” 

Miri rested her cheek against Minseok’s collarbone, her forehead pressed against his neck, then whimpered, “They... and you... will finally tell me the truth... and I will be abandoned.” 

Minseok tilted her head back with a fingertip beneath her chin and kissed her deeply, secretly smiling when she responded to the gentle yet passionate touch. When he lifted his lips from hers, he saw the copper shine in her eyes, and he murmured, “The truth is that all of us adore you, my Mirielle... me, most of all... we can have a meal with our friends later or tomorrow morning if you would rather I take you to bed and pleasure you?” 

Miri blushed, then replied while her gaze was captured by his dark one, “Are they... are they waiting for us?” 

Minseok glanced at the clock on the wall near where they were sitting, then looked back at her. “They are not at the restaurant yet; they were planning to leave their rooms in fifteen minutes. I can text them and let them know we will come down later, or perhaps tomorrow if you’d like...” 

Miri gulped, then whispered, “But... but I thought you were hungry?” 

“I am hungry, sweet thing... but I’m hungrier for you than for food, right now... we could order room service later.” Minseok brushed his lips over hers again, then rubbed his hand along her thigh and under her dress, so he could press the side of his finger against her humid nethers and rub them softly through her leggings and panties. “I’m hungry for your sweet little pussy, baby... I want to eat you until you forget your name while you’re moaning mine...” 

Miri blushed deeper and moaned, unable to keep herself from rolling her hips to facilitate the tender stroking. “I... I don’t want to make anyone mad... no-one should have to wait for me... I don’t deserve...” 

Before she could say anything else, Minseok captured her lips in another deep kiss, then intensified his caresses, turning his hand so his entire palm was pressed against her mons while he massaged her labia with his fingertips. He kissed her that way for a long time, breaking the kiss periodically to hear her gasps and whimpers, his own words soft and soothing, feeding her with love and kindness. He felt her tense on his lap suddenly, then the muscles of her bottom contracted against his legs, and he smiled. “Baby... did Daddy make you cum?” 

As soon as those words dropped out of his mouth, he cursed himself, not knowing if the usage of those nicknames would remind her of her past, even though they’d used them many times before. He lifted his head a bit and looked at Miri’s face, and she slow-blinked back at him, her eyelids half-lowered, while her lips parted and released quiet puffs of humid air. “Uh... uh-huh...” she replied, then murmured, “do... do it again... Daddy...” 

Minseok imagined that he should feel strange about her calling him that now that he knew what her life had been like, but there were too many pleasurable memories between them, and he smiled and nodded. “I will, baby... let me undress you and take you to bed, but I want to text our friends first, so they know not to worry...” 

Miri continued to wear the pretty blush on her cheeks when she stood up from his lap, and he led her back to the bedroom, and she stood beside him while he texted everyone and told them they’d meet for breakfast the next morning and to have a good night. “Why would they worry?” She asked quietly as he began helping her out of her clothes. 

“Because they knew how upset and sad you were... and we haven’t said anything to any of them since you returned from shopping. Chinhwa and Lisa were both highly relieved when I texted them just now. 

“Oh...” Miri replied as she started to help him out of his clothes. “I... I’m awful at running away...” 

“And that is a good thing, my darling... come to bed, baby... oh wait... I forgot about this... hm... did you buy a razor, by any chance?” Minseok was leaning down while Miri sat on the edge of the bed, and he was tickling her nethers that were now sporting tawny curls. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this, baby; you’ve shaved since before I met you...” His expression became intrigued, and he started to push her backward, gently. “Mmm... they’re very pretty... and wet... and I want to look at you like this for a while... put your head on the pillow and spread your legs for me, honey... good girl...” 

Mirielle lay back and pulled a couple of pillows behind her head, blushing as she watched Minseok sit lotus style and lift her legs, so her knees were bent over his, and she was fully exposed. “Seokie-ah...” she whispered, and he lifted his gaze to hers. 

Before she could speak, he whispered, “I love you, Miri-ah... I love every bit of you. You are my world, and just because I’m an idiot doesn’t mean that will ever change. Do you forgive me? Can you?” He was lightly running his fingers up and down her outer labia, reveling in the soft fur she wore. 

Miri watched his face as he lowered his eyes and observed what his fingers were doing, a bashful smile curving her lips when she whispered, “I can, and I do... I love you too, Seokie-ah... you’re my everything... but please... don’t be such a big idiot again... little stuff I can handle, but things like this... this was... horrible...” She started to cry and suddenly found herself buried beneath Minseok’s body, a low moan rumbling in her throat as she felt his thick cock enter her wet depths. 

He pushed slowly until he was embedded inside her, then remained motionless while he kissed her, over and over, gentle, deep, loving kisses, letting her absorb the comfort from having him cover her. Finally, she stopped crying, and he held her, still not moving except to nuzzle her cheeks, neck, shoulders, and lips, and once she was calm again, he leaned back on his forearms and gazed at her, marveling again at how perfect she was. “I’m so very sorry, my love... I never meant any of what I said; I was stubborn and selfish... please, honey... since we know I obviously can’t help being a jackass bastard, when something like this happens again, tell Lisa so that she can tell Chinhwa, so he’ll come over and punch me. I know you don’t feel comfortable doing that, and besides, your punches feel like butterfly kisses...” 

Miri had been listening intently, ready to forgive him again, and agree to telling Lisa when his last words registered in her brain. “Yah! They do not!!” She tried to pummel his chest, but as was usually the case, he had her arms pinned tightly enough that she couldn’t get any strength behind the blows, and they were mostly ineffective. So, she did the next best thing, and she pinched his nipples. 

“YEOWCH!!!” Minseok yelped, and as he sat back to look at the poor things, positive she’d twisted them off, Miri squirmed from under him, grunting softly as she felt his hard cock slip from her depths, then hopped off the bed and ran to the other side of the suite. The room she’d chosen to stay at had two bedrooms, and she ran into the guest room, around the bed, and hid in the closet. Of course, she knew he’d find her, but she intended to make him work for it first. 

“Kim Mirielle, you are so getting a spanking when I find you, you bad girl! My nipples still hurt!! Ouch!!!” Minseok started grumbling to himself as he walked across the suite, then entered the guest room. He stopped in the doorway, then started for the other side of the bed, expecting to find Miri crouched on the floor, when she banged the closet door open, nearly slamming it on his foot, and took off for the other side of the suite. 

“Laughing... she’s fucking laughing... oh my god, Minseok, you married a lunatic...” He started laughing too as he walked to the other side of the suite, then entered the master bedroom. “Miri... if you’re a good girl and show yourself right now, I won’t spank you with that hairbrush I saw in your pharmacy bag...” Miri immediately appeared from around the corner, having hidden in the bathroom, and Minseok blinked when he saw tears shimmering in her beautiful golden eyes. “Miri? What’s wrong, honey?” He stepped toward her and pulled her against him, his hands rubbing soothingly up and down her back as she gripped his biceps and pressed her face against the middle of his chest. 

“I... I don’t want a spanking, Seokie-ah... I didn’t mean to be bad... I didn’t want to run away, but... but I didn’t think you wanted me around anymore... I couldn’t stay there, knowing you hated me that much... I didn’t know what else to do; I was so afraid to talk to you and have you tell me we were over... I’m sorry... I’m sorry I pinched you... I’m sorry I ran... I’m sorry I keep making you chase me...” Her voice broke into sobs, and Minseok picked her up in his arms, took her to the bed, then laid her down and crawled in beside her. Holding her against him tightly, he rubbed her back and murmured softly to her. 

“Miri-ah... it’s all right, honey, I understand... you weren’t bad, baby, you did nothing wrong, everything that happened was my fault, I should have been more compassionate, and I am so sorry I wasn’t... I should have talked to Chinhwa right away and had him remind me about all of the reasons why I was a hypocrite, but I was too stubborn... and I didn’t want anyone to show me how monstrous I was to you... no spanking, baby... only loving... shhh... and it is okay that you pinched me, I deserved it for teasing you, and I like it when you make me chase you around like that... I missed our little midnight hide-and-seek games; I hope we’ll have them again once we go home...” 

“We will, Seokie-ah, I promise... I love you so much...” Mirielle sniffled, and Minseok smiled and hugged her tightly. 

“I love you too, jagiya... Let’s eat something before I eat you; I think that will help you feel a bit better, hm?” He gently brushed her hair away from her face and gazed into her beautiful eyes, smiling when she nodded. 

“I... I think so, too... even if I’d rather make love first, I am hungry... I didn’t eat since... um... I think yesterday...” Miri blushed as Minseok’s eyes widened at her words. 

“You can’t remember when you ate last? Oh honey... okay, let’s cuddle, and I’ll turn on the tv, we can find the menu and order, mm?” 

Minseok and Mirielle spent the rest of the evening slowly devouring the food they’d ordered and each other, reaffirming their bond, while he took hours to worship her until she was delirious and sated. The next morning, after a leisurely bath and shower, and he’d shaved her bare again, then taken a little taste, they got dressed and met their friends for a late brunch. 

Miri was not surprised to see Chinhwa and Lisa, but she was shocked to see Yunho and the rest of Minseok and Chinhwa’s employees... Yunho’s idea had been to rent the hotel for a ‘work function’, and they’d called everyone, who’d been more than happy to come and prove to Miri that she was a necessary part of their lives. Even some of the new employees knew who she was, as she visited Minseok’s office regularly and typically brought a mountain of baked goods or lunch for everyone. When she did that, they all sat together in the enormous conference room at his office, and ate. Miri had the habit of getting up from beside Minseok and wandering around the room so she could introduce herself to people she hadn’t met yet, and greet those she had. She was gifted with a nearly perfect memory, so she remembered even the smallest detail about everyone. 

That was also a problem, as she never forgot any of the bad things that had happened, but as time passed and she grew more confident in herself, and in Minseok’s love for her again, she was better able to push them aside. When they did bubble to the surface, Minseok was there to comfort and care for her and remind her of why she was his beloved and why everyone else who met her loved her too.

The End


End file.
